The world doesn’t need mediocre celebrants but it does need conscious, creative, compassionate celebrants who are always willing to learn, grow and be better.
Essential Skills of a Celebrant
Listening and hearing (truly listening, and not interrupting with your own stories)
Humility
Boundaries
Time value and time management
Punctuality
Organisation
Discipline
Commitment
Clarity
Writing
Speaking clearly and articulately
Acknowledging others’ values
Creativity
Photograph by celebrant Veronika Robinson
Being a celebrant is often wonderful work where you can be flexible, interactive and creative. It can also be debilitating and sad, and you need to find ways to be resilient, for example if you have a murder, suicide or infant death to officiate.
Not only do you need the above skills but you also need to value yourself, and your work, enough to be your biggest supporter as you’ll have to market yourself if you expect to attract work. It’s a lot easier to market yourself for weddings than funerals, as clients usually come direct. The funeral industry isn’t easy to break into, and if you’re relying on funeral directors to phone you then you have to put in the groundwork to build up good relationships. Alternatively, you can work in your community by setting up a Death Café, liaising with hospices, bereavement midwives and so on, so that clients come to you directly. Setting yourself up as a community celebrant has many advantages over relying on funeral directors.
Mike and Petra’s Handfasting Ceremony in a stone circle. Photography by Alex Simon.
Think about your time commitments. Funeral celebrants need to be available during the week, whereas the majority of weddings and namings tend to be held on weekends, thought his has changed somewhat in more recent years (especially since the Pandemic). Are you prepared to give up many Saturdays during the year? Weddings generally get booked three months to three years before the date. A funeral can be anything from 24 hours to three weeks after the death (more like six weeks, if you are somewhere in or around London).
Are you able to work at speed, be flexible, and complete a task to excellence at such short notice?
Qualities of a Celebrant
A quality differs from a skill in that it is often inherent in one’s personality rather than something that is learned or developed through training.
Empathic
Kind
Friendly
Thoughtful
Warm
Understanding
Self-confident
Ability to take direction from clients
Ability to give direction
Awareness of self and others
Knowledge of what works/what doesn’t
Contrary to some opinions, you don’t need to be an extrovert (and actually introverts bring something deep and meaningful to the equation)
Creativity
Writing skills and imagination
Helpful
Practical
Reliable
Sense of humour
Sense of occasion, and respect for ritual
Love of ceremony
Approachable
Energetic
Strong sense of duty
Committed
Reliable
Solid, clear, well-articulated voice
Good storyteller
Calm, composed and able to relax clients
Serene, soothing, gentle presentation
Caring
Unflappable
Able to produce bespoke ceremonies
Able to officiate according to the client’s beliefs, rather than their own.
Can hold the space, regardless of how many people there are.
Calm
Grounded
Excellent listening skills
Understands the value of various rituals, and can perform them meaningfully
Gifted at developing relationships so can liaise with funeral directors, families, crematorium staff, and cemetery staff
Is always compassionate, reverent, professional, and respectful
Is reliable, organised and punctual
Lyndsay and Jake’s wedding at Askham Hall. Photograph by John Hope.
D & L’s ceremony at Castlerigg Stone Circle
Valuable assets of a celebrant
Rich with ideas
Choices
Resources
Knowledge of various customs and traditions
Intuitive
Good hygiene and presentation
Excellent standard of client service
Understanding of law around weddings and funerals
Veronika Robinson has had the immense privilege of being a celebrant, internationally, since 1995, and has officiated across all rites of passage. Her passion for ceremony, ritual and excellence in the craft and practice of celebrancy extends to her role as co-founder and co-tutor at Heart-led Ceremonies Celebrant Training and as editor of The Celebrant magazine. She is also an author, novelist and workshop facilitator.
